Is casual sex REALLY casual?

God I declare, that like Ruth, I have come to take refuge under your wings..

Joyce Meyer, Everyday Life Bible, adapted from Ruth 2:12

From conception you are pre-wired with a set of habits; cry, eat, sleep. If you cry as an infant and no one answers, the basic needs of your human existence are not being met. As you grow older, those who care for you help to form habits (good or bad) within you. Manners and  healthy eating are things you should learn as a child which develop into habit.

You carry childhood habits into adulthood. When you find yourself subjected to vice, often it’s a search for fulfillment (need) not met as a child.

                              Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, porn, sex……      

Things substituted for fulfillment with belief it makes you happy, failing to realize this happiness is temporary.

When sex is used as a Band-Aid to cover feelings of un-fulfillment, you give of yourself freely, this causes it to become habit and you become enslaved. Habits are what control your daily life and are most often subconscious. Becoming aware of your actions and the thoughts that lead up to them is a powerful way to alter your life’s course!

ARE your habits bad?

You should ask yourself… Do my thoughts or actions contribute  to the goodness of my overall health, life, or those around me?

It’s hard to ignore the sexual imagery that we come in contact with daily. In today’s society sex is used in all forms of media to sell anything from cars to toothpaste. It creates the implication that casual encounters are acceptable and maybe even desirable. Feeding in to these media messages can cause you to behave in ways you otherwise wouldn’t.

Loneliness, lowered self-esteem; feelings of resentment and rejection (why am I not good enough to be something other than a sex partner?) anger and hurt are some of the feelings that may lead you to continue this pattern of behavior in a constant search for happiness. Most often casual sex leaves you with these kinds of feelings. Unlike many other vices, sex ties you emotionally to another human being. It is a level of intimacy consistently abused beyond its purpose; a loving, committed, monogamous marriage, anything other than these, is not in God’s plan for your life.

To live in contrast to God’s design for your life leaves you with relentless un-fulfillment..

To stop or start a behavior is often beyond your control. Once habits form, they are hard to break. Trying to create new ones are just as hard (think new year’s resolutions) When you lay down your life before God, admitting you cannot change by yourself nor do you want to control your own life anymore, a shift dictates to unwanted habits. A lifestyle pleasing to him and good for you inevitably follows.

Be like Ruth and take refuge under God’s wings. In doing this, you have ability to soar above fears and un-beliefs. Rest on his truths about your life. The courage gained will enable you to challenge yourself beyond measure. With God, it’s possible to live a fulfilled, Christ like life. You can do all things through his strength!




Bringing your net worth to the light… How to budget your time AND finances.

“A man who dares waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life”

Charles Darwin

I’m no expert on budgeting of ANY kind however; I came across a scripture today that inspired me to write this post.  1 John 1:5-6 “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth”.

God IS light. We as humans have tendency to walk in darkness when we do not have to. A part of walking in darkness is being constantly consumed by the unproductive things of this earth, hence wasting our time. Daily trips to social media sites (Facebook, twitter, gossip blogs, etc…) and spending hours browsing material that is in no way related to our goals or productivity can easily lead us into believing that there aren’t enough hours in a day. How well we manage and use our time is directly related to how much fulfillment we experience in life. Make it a habit to plan your time. List daily goals (at least five every morning) and prioritize to accomplish important tasks and improve your productivity. Spend less time “thinking” on what to do next. It’s a good idea to use an online calendar or even a smartphone if you have one to record important events and manage daily tasks as well.

Do you ever wonder how some people manage to accomplish so much in a short time period? Successful people to do not have any more time than the rest of us, we are all given the same  24 hours in a day to work with. There’s no secret, some people just use their time more wisely. How you use your time will continue to determine the state of your life. Are you healthy, wealthy and wise?  Let’s face it; most of us have too many meaningless activities taking up our time. We need to simplify our lives and use our time in meaningful ways. Indulging in activities that lead to procrastination are a major NO ——–> “Procrastination is the thief of time”. Edward Young


A simple statement, yet so true, procrastination is the number one time thief and comes in many forms of disguise. Checking emails frequently throughout the day, repeated trips to the grocery store, watching television, internet surfing, etc… are all excellent examples of time-wasting activities that cause us to put off things that we should be doing. Set aside time for checking emails, for example (every two hours) and respond to them promptly. Keep web surfing to a minimum. Allocate time to shop for groceries and have a list on hand for weekly meals. You will be AMAZED at how much time you save by doing these simple things.

Finances…. Finances…. Finances.

The amount of money you make is not as important as how you spend it. If you spend your money wisely you will be able to get out of debt, save, and pay monthly obligations on time.

Let’s begin by cutting some costs….


Wash clothes at a cooler temperature, set your heating/cooling thermostat a little lower, and unplug appliances that are not in use.


Buy store brands of your favorite items, buy in bulk, have a list ready before you go to avoid spending on unneeded items.

Saving money while on a tight budget may seem hard but it is possible if you are focused and have goals in mind. No matter how much you make save a portion of your earnings each pay period. Consider doing something you love to earn extra cash (teaching a music class, tutoring a favorite subject, selling homemade crafts) there are tons of ways to earn extra cash so get creative!  Last but certainly not least, create a budget. It may seem hard but, with planning and determination, it is possible to create a guilt free budget and stick to it!

God desires for us to live life and to live it in abundance, we can do this if we would only follow his plan. It is not his will for us to live in darkness, shame, or guilt in regards to our personal lives. We have all the tools we need to take control of our time and finances; it is up to us to use them. Pray and ask God for guidance, seek mentors or agencies that are experts in financial planning and time management. I’ve listed a few reputable ones for you below.

Live in light, love, peace and on purpose!

STATE OF EMERGENCY! This is only a test..

I’m not really turning 35 this week. I am not a single mother with three children. I am not estranged from my mother. My father did not die earlier this year. I have never been on welfare, nor was I ever a juvenile delinquent. My life has not been cycled through what feels like a blender, once or twice, leaving my mind, body, and spirit feeling defeated. This is only a test...

This is only a test..

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I am a complete work..

No matter what my life’s circumstances seem to look like, the statement above remains true. God already sees us a complete work. Nothing God does is imperfect, before we came into earthly existence he knew us.

imagine that; being formed with the purpose of performing perfect tasks, created in a perfect image, to supplement a perfect kingdom on earth and eternally. If we as humans could grasp this concept, this beautiful imagery, and realize that we are not existing merely for ourselves, but for a kingdom purpose? Our approach towards life, the way we view ourselves and others would be magnified.

So while a rough season your life in may seem like a “test” it is not a pass or fail. God wants to see you through it so that you will be equipped to do the tasks he created you for. He is molding you into perfection. Imagine that.


Public Paranoia? The SECRET to overcoming fear..

The driving force behind most Americans today is fear. Mass media images instill fear of being too big, thin, ugly, beautiful, poor, rich, old, young, smart, dumb, unloved, unwanted…  Fear of death, tragedy and failure.        

Buy this drink-lose weight now!

Use this alarm system-or someone will break into your home!

Drive this car-or you may crash!

Eat this food-you will live longer!

Invest in this-you’ll never go broke!

Fear drives us to believe we need one more zero behind our salary to bring happiness, a bigger house, and a fancier car, nicer clothes, send our children to prestigious schools. We do everything to “measure up” however, we are never satisfied. Want to know why? Possessions do not bring fulfillment.  Happiness (fulfillment) comes from within and it only comes when you realize that the reason of your existence is to further your creators agenda. Not your own.

Material things are nice to have, but when your sole focus is on acquiring instead of giving (time, love, friendships etc ..) to others you will never feel complete.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others” Marianne Williamson  this is one of my favorite quotes on fear, we are who we are because it’s written into a well-designed plan. Before being formed in our mother’s womb God called us for a purpose. Will you live up to it?

Conquering Fear

Analyze: What is causing the fear(s) get to the root of the situation.

Confront: Is the fear logical? What is the likelihood of the thing you fear to take place?

Replace: Think positive! As complex as your human brain is; it can only handle ONE thought at a time.


For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7


Thanksgiving Day Quickie..

“I’ve started to look at life differently. When you’re thanking God for every little you – every meal, every time you wake up, every time you take a sip of water – you can’t help but be more thankful for life itself, for the unlikely and miraculous fact that you exist at all.”
― A.J. Jacobs

I came across this quote this morning, it’s a humbling reminder of how insignificant we really are in the scheme of life while being apart of the grandest scheme of all at the same time… God’s Kingdom..

Be Blessed and stay Thankful this holiday season :}